Divorce mediation is the process of discussing and coming to a written agreement on issues around your children, finances and property as part of the divorce. The discussions are with a professional mediator acting as a facilitator. Both members of the divorcing couple participate. Most sessions last two hours and many divorce settlements are reached after just a few sessions. Clients can begin on whatever issues they feel are most pressing.

Mediators do not make decisions, provide therapy, provide legal representation or perform legal services for divorcing people, but do devote their energy to helping you obtain fair agreements.

From this document one of the attorneys drafts the papers that will be presented to the court. The other attorney reviews the legal draft. After each of you has signed the legal divorce papers, they can be submitted to the court by mail for an administrative approval. You will not necessarily need to appear in court.

Erickson Mediation Institute offers a FREE one-hour consultation to help you decide if mediation is right for your circumstances.

How is mediation different from litigation?
What is covered in the settlement agreement?
How much does it cost?
Is it for everyone?
How can it work if my spouse is so much more powerful?
Will mediation work if there has been domestic abuse?

How is mediation different from litigation?

Mediation creates a supportive and constructive environment that promotes communication and balances power differences. Instead of the adversarial model of most legal arguments, mediation seeks to close the marriage relationship as amicably as possible, put the past behind and concentrate on the future. Above all, mediation allows divorce or separation to occur with dignity and integrity.

Mediation addresses all legal issues as required by the court. Yet unlike the traditional legal approach with opposing attorneys, mediation can reduce emotional and physical stress, require less time, save money and even create effective ways to resolve future conflicts, especially around co-parenting.

What is covered in a mediated settlement?

The process facilitated by the mediator will review all the issues you need to address in your final divorce decree such as:

• Real and personal property
• Division of assets and/or liabilities
• Tax considerations
• Spousal maintenance
• Child support
• Living arrangements for the children
• Parenting responsibilities

How much does mediation cost?

Most mediators will charge hourly for mediation services. They set their rates at approximately what family law attorneys charge hourly in their area. Mediators frequently charge an administrative fee to cover case set up, word processing, copying, faxes, phone calls and normal work in between sessions. The administrative fee varies and may be one to four times the hourly fee. Mediation fees are shared by the couple or paid out of their joint assets. The administrative fee is paid when the agreement to mediate is signed, and hourly fees are paid at the end of each session.

Fees for neutral experts (such as appraisers) are paid directly by the couple to the expert. The Standards of Practice of the Association for Conflict Resolution lists the mediator's duty to provide some mediation services at a reduced rate to accommodate the needs of low-income families. This is a policy of Erickson Mediation Institute.

Who will succeed in mediation?

We believe all couples can be successful at achieving a mediated divorce settlement.

Our approach, called client-centered mediation, is based on a fundamental belief that all couples have the potential to be successful in mediation. Even people who have experienced abuse (as victims or perpetrators), or people with developmental disabilities or other difficulties in their relationships, can achieve a more productive and fair process of resolution of their conflicts through this framework. This is because client-centered mediation concentrates on assisting all people involved in achieving the best possible outcome through a cooperative approach. When compared to a competitive, adversarial approach, client-centered mediation has far better results for husbands, wives and children.

The conceptual framework does not require a detailed understanding of legal principles. Rather, it builds on the knowledge and strengths of the couple, together with the application of certain skills of the mediator in a structured format, to bring out the couple's good intentions and creative knowledge. This focus distinguishes the client-centered model from other mediation models that are more adjudicative and directive and which often tend to focus on outside standards of state law or of the mediators own biases concerning what is believed to be fair for the couple.

How can it work if my spouse is so much more powerful?

There are power differences in all couples. Power is very hard to identify. Clients do not know their own power and how it affects the other. Power tends to move from one to the other depending on the issue. Each sees the other as powerful, while seeing themselves as having no power. Equal power is less the issue than how each uses their power. When power is used negatively, it is inherently destructive and the mediator intervenes to change the power to learn what motivates it. The goal of mediation is to empower both clients while seeking a fair solution.

Will mediation work if there has been domestic abuse?

In domestic abuse cases, when there is a screening protocol, divorce mediation is more appropriate than lawyer-negotiated divorce or litigation. Conflict is significantly decreased in mediated divorces, when compared to litigated or lawyer-negotiated divorce. Battered women become empowered by the divorce mediation process.